It's been weeks since I last posted and part of that has to do with the fact that I've been inordinately busy over the last few weeks but part of it is also that I kind of had a freak out that this is a really bad idea. Dating scares me. This may be why I have not been successful at it so far in life. I’m thinking it probably doesn’t just scare me, though. Dating is scary, right? That’s been pretty well established in like a billion movies I have seen. Anyway, i started to panic.
I’m generally not a very organised person. I have a pretty relaxed attitude to life and I like to be surprised. However, when something scary comes along, I will organise the shit out of it. I want to know exactly what’s going to happen and when and how and why. I need to plan. So last night I made myself a cup of tea – because tea makes everything seem better – sat on my couch made a list. Of RULES!
I’ve had a mixed relationship with RULES for most of my life. Most of the time, I find them comforting. They give life order. Nine out of ten times, I have no problems following them. I understand that rules are there for a reason and that without them the world as we know it could fall into anarchy. I think there are some great rules out there: Thou Shall Not Kill – that’s a great rule; Don’t Feed the Bears – I’m totally on board with that; Treat Others the Way You Want to Be Treated – yes. I agree.
But then, there’s always that tenth rule that comes along that just makes NO sense. I like to think I am a relatively bright individual and if I cannot under any circumstances fathom why a rule exists, I am just not going to follow it.
When I was in high school, there was a rule that tried to tell me I should wear the top button of my shirt fastened every day. I wore my school uniform for six years without complaint. Despite being infuriated by the fact that I was forced to wear a skirt every day, when the boys got to wear trousers, I still managed to keep my mouth shut. I ignored my early feminist principles and restrained myself from shouting about freedom of gender expression. But that top button. I just couldn’t do it. I needed to be comfortable and that involved not having my clothing choke the life out of me.
Anyway, back to my point. I have found the way to get around the problem of my love / hate relationship with rules is to simply make up my own. That way I can have total control over the situation. I started by thinking about what my goals were going to be (you know, other than: start dating a really hot girl) and what I knew I was going to struggle with. I wanted to be sure my rules covered all possibilities. It’s good to be prepared.
Here are my rules. There are nine of them, because you know that tenth one would be a total B*stard:
